Saturday, January 2, 2010

Changing Linen...

I changed the linen
On our bed today
Been well over a year
Since her head rested
Beside me on her pillow
Lost in sleep there
Safe in a lover's dream
Of a tomorrow
That never came

I never slept the bed
Nor changed the sheets
Between her visits
Only putting on clean
Right before her arrival
The old held her scent
And my memories
Until her return and
New dreams could be made

Many lonely days spent
Lying on comforter there
Holding her pillow
To my breast and
Breathing in a trace
Of her essence
Smiling at the sound
Of her laughter
Ringing in my head

Was all I had
To get me through
As I waited for her
To fill my world anew
With easy smiles and
Tender kisses that warmed
Cool sheets again
With our love

It's over…
All gone…

She's not coming back
And my heart is broken

Her pillow holds
Only the smell
Of stale emptiness
As I shake it
From its case
And it falls
To the mattress
In silence
And dust

Pulling back the covers
I'm accosted by
Coiled dreams that
Lunge at me
Shove me to my knees
Bound over my shoulder
And escape through
The frozen pane of glass
Behind me.

A new emptiness
Fills the room
Displacing the air
My lungs burn for and
Need for living
It sucks the breath
From my body
Leaving me weak
And defeated

Three strands of
Of long, blond hair
Lie there separated
From her and me by
Passage of time and distance
The only proof
Her physical being
Ever laid there
Soft and warm beside me

It's over…
All gone…

She's not coming back
And my spirit is broken

On her monument shelf
In bookcase at end of couch
Small envelope holds
These precious strands
Beside a small ball of rags
Tied with her hands
And a little stuffed rabbit
With floppy ears, pink nose
And coal black eyes

Together we sit
In growing darkness
At end of the day
Glowing in soft firelight
Squinting in the dusk
Towards the road
Searching for a hint
Of her small red car
Turning up the drive

It's a comfort
To have them there
Within arm's reach
As night closes in
My hopes fade again
Neither black eyes nor blue
Find what they are seeking
Long night heralds in and waits
For what tomorrow brings

Winter is at top-dead-center
Coldest part of the year
Yet it cannot match
My heart's chill
For it's frozen solid
Blood as thick and dark
As axel grease
Craving warmth of Spring
And her hand in mine

It's over…
All gone…

She's not coming back
And my world is broken

As new day dawns
And Spring approaches
All I have are dreams
Of a better day ahead
When we walk together again
In new fields of happiness
My resolution grows strong
There is only one answer
To solve this quandry

This must be over…
All gone…

If she's not coming back
Then I will go to her

And till hard scars
I left on her heart
Until they are soft and warm
Plant new seeds of love there
And nurture them
With tender care
Through the growing season
For a bountiful harvest of happiness
To last us a lifetime together


Fabian G. Franklin said...

I read this piece at WC, loved it there and love it here, great stuff!


What can I saw but beautiful piece of writing. Barb