Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yup, we are all dying here. You have been headed towards your last breath since the time you took your first. Ever thought about what you would tell a loved one, if you had the chance, in the event of your death?
Most of the obvious things we do in life are more than apparant to those closest to us. But what about all the little things that you added to the relationship, the little ‘nuts and bolts’ kind of contributions you made, to ensure that it was successful? Are others even aware that you were doing these little things, behind the scenes, to make their stay here on Earth easier or more pleasant? Things that really show the deepness of feelings that you had for this person, that their interests were always high on your list? Have you really ever thought of all the little things that your significant other brings to your relationship? Do you show the appreciation towards them that they deserve?
I wrote this as a hypothetical letter from a dead spouse. Hope you give it a read and some thought.
My Dearest Angel,
If you are reading this, it is because things are not working out exactly the way we planned it. Sorry I had to leave, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I hope that it has not been unbearably hard on you and that you are fairing as well as could be expected.
I trust that my brother is helping you through this as I had asked him to do in the event of something like this happening. He is a good, fair and honest man. You would do well to heed his counsel. He will see to it that the letter of my wishes are carried out, with your approval of course.
You are fully aware of our property and financial issues, as we shared in everything there. All the papers and documents are where we put them and all is in order. I would just recommend that you continue our policy of invest wisely and spend carefully. I am sure you will and you will be fine in this regard.
There are, however, some things that will need tending to from time to time and I am not sure whether you are aware of them or not. They are just little things I did around, behind the scenes mostly, but important enough to bear mentioning here. I am sure I will leave some out, but I will try to give you the best list I can. Here it is:
Put a pack of yeast in the toilet and flush it two times a year. Keeps bacteria healthy in the septic tank. I do it on my birthday in April and yours in November, roughly six months apart.
The lugs on my truck tires are an odd size and the socket to change them is in the glove box. A breaker bar for it is under the passenger’s seat. I hope you keep my ol’ truck, burns a little oil but she’s been a good one.
I always walk the water out of the garden hoses before I put them up in the Fall so they don’t freeze and burst. Sure save you a lot of extra work around the place.
I try to keep water in the birdbath in the summer, oddly enough, for the cats to get a drink. Damn ducks get in their water bowl and just muddy it up, so I put it there.
Let the first and last cutting of the yard grow to seed before you cut it. I know you always hated this but it re-seeds the yards on its own that way. That’s why I did it. You know we always had a beautiful lawn, too.
Worm the cats, dogs and cows on our birthdays. Give the dogs their shots then too.
Make sure the fruit trees get water, by rain or hose, at least every ten days. Even in the winter. That is when they store their energy for the next season.
I try to put ground up egg shells, banana peels and some iron around all your roses in the fall of the year, that’s what gives you those big blooms and deep colors you love.
Watch for the little asters to bloom in the early Fall, that is when to harvest the honey from the beehives. If you wait any longer, the bees start to make that strong, dark honey. You always like the light, clear honey. Tony will take care of this for you, or you know where the bee suit is. If you decide to keep them, better re-queen in the Fall, make sure they make it through the winter.
Lime. Can’t put too much lime on cantaloupes. You loved those ones we grew each year and that is the secret to the rich sweetness they always had.
If you have problems starting the old tractor, or she loses power and cuts out, bleed the fuel system of air bubbles. It’s in the manuals in the bookcase how to do it. Tried ever since I had her to find that leak and never could.
I guess I could go on and on, but I just need to let you go and get to it. You can learn these and the rest of the things I did on your own as circumstance dictates. You have always been a very capable and innovative woman and I have spent our time together loving you for it. Which brings me to my closing.
The most joyful and special moments of my life were spent doing the one thing that was the easiest to do; that being loving you. Wherever I am now, I am doing it still. I hope you find the time to slip away from things, now and again, to sit with me awhile down by the pond. Let the breeze there carry my voice of memories to you and bring a smile to your lips. Know that you were loved. When you look up on the hill and see a group of deer slowly emerging from the wood line at dusk, hear me whisper to you, “Look”! Know that you are loved. When a soft puff of summer air comes through the window and moves your hair a bit as you lay resting, it is only me kissing your brow goodnight. Know that you will always be loved.
Forever Yours,Your loving Husband
I would suggest that we all keep in mind that we are only one breath away from needing this letter and conduct ourselves accordingly.
Copyright © 2005 Mike Lawson. All Rights Reserved